Thursday, January 01, 2009
Went out to meet the guys today. Left my home as an agitated man but now i have found my peace. I realised that the fundamental differences between us cannot be reconciles. Beliefs and perceptions can be influenced, habits can be conditioned and corrected but values, i believe, cannot be compromised. Take for instance the concept of fillial piety. No matter how westernized we are, we still feel morally obliged to care for our parents in old age. To quote from gw, there is no right or wrong in a relationship, some things are just different. And as NIE has always advocated, we should not only tolerate or accomodate difference but accept it as well. In the case of our relationship, respecting and accepting differnce translates into parting. Parting is invariably sad but it is also inevitable. To better convey this concept, we see that when we go to a shop and look at an article and find that the price is too steep, we walk away, we don't argue with the shopkeeper because from his perspective, the price quoted is justifiable or 'correct' although from the perspective of a consumer, we tend to think otherwise. I thank you for everything and i must apologise for the hurt i have caused. Given that the new year has arrived, there are a few resolutions which i shall list here to remind myself.
I should be more aware of my temper. In particular, i am quick to anger. I accept that this is a natural response and precisely because it is a natural reflex, it will blind my judgement. I should allow my anger to subside before evaluating the issue. I should always try to comprehend the situation from the perspective of my opposite be it my parent, my sister, my friend, my gf, my colleague or even my student.
I should be cautious in the use of words and their underly connotations. I should be cautious of my actions so as to be sensitive to the feelings of the opposite. I should never use the phrase: "I told you so". I should not raise my voice.
Lastly, i should alway let my anger subside, reflect, offer advice and most imporatntly demonstrate concern. Concern is not merely offering good advice but encompasses empathy and good advice is not to dictate but merely to inform.
Its high time i corrected my flaws, I have lost 2 perfectly good girls to my insensitivity and anger.
8:05 PM
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