Thursday, December 15, 2005
Finally got the chance to chat with one of my secondary school friends. In the previous few occasions when we were both online, it would usually be one of us being too busy to chat. One thing that struck me after the conservation was how much everything around me has changed since my secondary school days. My friends have matured and my ex teacher's married (he's really more of a friend than a teacher). In light of this sudden thought, i naturally asked myself (no not why am i not married) how much i have accomplished over the years. And it seems resonable for me to conclude that i haven't changed (or rather progressed) much over the years. Physical wise, i still look the same, thin and average. Where maturity is concerned, i'm still kind of childish. I guess i really should devote some effort into making myself a better person (physically, intellectually, character wise) and i mean really, particularly now that i have nothing much to be busy with, no girlfriend etc. In short, its time to grow up! Not to dismiss myself entirely, i guess i'm a much better runner than i used to be but the problem is i train only when there's a need to, for instance when there's a marathon coming as such the benefits of running (say being fitter) are not lasting and neither can i boldly claim that i'm definitely a whole lot fitter than what i used to be. My arguement here is, what's the point of being fit sporadically i.e. when ippt and ahm are around the corner and subsequently regress back to my slacken state for the rest of the year, i should be pushing myself to the limits, i should be fit always. Hmn now that i have articulated my feelings, things seem far more apparent. I should be pushing myself to the limits because this is what i wanted in the first place otherwise i wouldn't have joined the marathon and AHM, i probably ain't doing my utmost right now because i'm lazy or perhaps scared i don't know... that's why i have been procrastinating since the time of one zero, never mind if you don't understand what one zero is. I always look back at the past, say my army and secondary school days, with a certain degree of longing. Those were the days when i was most carefree but i guess it's more important that i look forward as opposed to always living/hoping for the past. What do you say? Am i being overly naive to think that i can correct my flaws or that i'm just coming down too hard on myself?
11:48 PM
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