Sunday, December 11, 2005
Kind of bored this holiday, so much so that I have actually decided to start a blog, you see I don't have a habit of keeping a diary, least to say, a public one. I see it as being cumbersome; furthermore there are some issues which are best kept private. Well... it's my first holiday without my girlfriend...we broke up sometime in the middle of the semester. Don't ask me why or what happened? I guess all good things must come to an end someday right. I don't really feel that sad anymore, perhaps a little depressed every now and then, lots of "why" haunting me, myself as well and this perpetual feeling of being lost and lonely especially now that the army half marathon and the marathon are over, there seems to be nothing for me to work towards other than better grades which I really don't want to think of right now. Endless singing and ktv outings seem destined to be the main itinerary this holiday, sigh... while I do agree that singing helps to relieve stress and serves an emotional outlet, when the tunes die down, the grief and sorrow still remains or rather the source, whatever it may be, that perpetuates our unhappiness, my gf still ain't by my side and I’m still me. I guess there isn't much of a cure either other than indulging in some form of escapism like singing, running, swimming and probably diving. Diving literally allows you to enter a new dimension, wonder when my cert coming, it’s been so long, I might want to dive again semester if my wallet allows. Some people ask me why run the marathon, why pay money to suffer pain. Well on one hand, you can say it's for the sense of self satisfaction that comes when we push ourselves to the limits; I guess lalala will agree to this argument. For me however, I merely indulge in the pain, it numbs all the grief and sorrow. More importantly however is that it provides a direction in my life. Well time to watch TV, maybe tonight I will start exercising again. Talking about TV, watched Castaway on telly yesterday and there was this inspiring line though it would be even more so if you had watched the film cause the context is crucial to appreciating the line. Anyway the guy was on the brink on insanity and had harbored suicidal thoughts, as he walked along the shoreline one day; he found a metal sheet which would allow him to construct a sail for his raft. When he finally got back to civilization he said... that sometimes we have to continue breathing because we never know what the tide might bring in tomorrow. No matter how depressed or trying times maybe, at the end of the day, we will come out of it stronger, the truest of heart and purest of soul (think of it as nirvana) are forged in blood, sweat and tears.
7:30 PM
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